The past few months have been a whirlwind of pain, losing my job, gloominess, surgery, recovery, swimming, mindfulness, brownies, books, and Trachtenberg. And now, I’m thrilled to announce that… I have no job offer and no plans to look for one. Instead, I’m taking a leap and starting up – my second attempt at entrepreneurship. This time, though, I’m leaning on mindfulness and a willingness to embrace the vulnerability that comes with this choice.
While many of my peers are climbing the ladder towards CXO roles, buying their next luxury muse, or raising their series A funding round at 23, I’m grappling with a gut-wrenching fear and anxiety of starting from scratch. As a 40-year-old father, the stakes feel higher, and the safety net thinner.
Yet, amidst the fear, I find courage in the promise of the future. Nearly 20 years of work experience might seem like a lot to walk away from, but I remind myself – I still have a solid 40 years of work ahead (assuming I work till I’m at least 80). These years should be filled with meaningful, mindful work. As Cal Newport puts it in his book Slow Productivity, “The key to meaningful work is in the decision to keep returning to the efforts you find important – not in getting everything right every time.”
So here I am, not just embracing entrepreneurship and vulnerability but also (because why not?) committing to document my startup journey from Day 1.
Retrospectively, success and failure stories often feel philosophised. When I read these neatly packaged stories, the messy reality is often lost and you end up experiencing the feeling of the feelings. That’s what I want to avoid irrespective of the outcome of my startup. In this experiment, I want to show my work as it unfolds – raw, unmeasured, and honest. I want to capture the fleeting moments of chance and the kaleidoscope of feelings we often overlook in real time.
As much as this exercise is risking a thought, it is also a desire to draw your attention to the why, how, and what of my cause. Hoping to have open and honest communication, while attracting people who may be interested to be part of the startup in your own ways.
And so, here it is… Day-1.
🍪 Fortune Cookie
The first person to cheer on an aspiring entrepreneur is often themselves – they know the hallucinations will soon line up, and reality will slowly unfold. So here’s to you, Nikhil: may your coffee be strong, your cash-flow steady, and your sanity… well, optional. Best of luck!
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Nikhil Kabadi 